All is well. We didn't burn down the house. Life goes on as it always does -which is kinda sad because it means I am emotionally detach from you. I feel numbed, bottled up, and unable to connect with anyone. I m glad you are on vacation. It provides a good opportunity to reflect on our relationship.

I am sad that we are not as close as I want us to be. I am sad that our experiences together are always unpleasant. I m sad that we don't have much happy memories to share. Í am sad that our interactions have gone from negative to remote (heart-to-heart talk hardly exists. I speak more to people who are not blood-related. I am sure you do that too). I am sad that our relationship has gone so sour tat it aches every time I think about it. I am sad tat I have been so resistant about spending time together. I am sadden by the way I view our time together (experiences from previous years has been fill with more criticism, condemnation, and complains than encouragement, acceptance, and understanding from both you and me). I am sad tat I stop trying to get your approval a long time ago. I am sad I gave up on friendships before they even begin. I am sad I gave up on education and jobs tat i enjoy. I am sad tat I gave up on men whom I thought I would marry. I am sad that I gave up on you who gave me life. I am sad that I gave up on my goals and health. I am sad tat there are many times I thought about giving up on life. I am sad I gave up on people and things that I love and care about. I am sad this is how I have lived my youth. I am sad to have been so unreliable. I am sad that I had so much fear. I am sad that you have to bare all these. I am sad tat I've brought so much pain. I am sad that I have been so unwilling to see this. Most of all, I am sad tat we are still like this.